How to live with more JOY

As a doctor working in the ER, I see so many humans overwhelmed by stress and anxiety seeking help with not just their physical body but also their mental and spiritual well-being. I have created this handout that includes many measures I have taken in my own life to be able to stay resourced and balanced. Through this share, I hope to empower people with tools and resources to find more joy and ease in life.

Managing daily stress and life. 

Everyone experiences stress and anxiety at one time or another. Stress is a response to a threat in a situation while anxiety is a reaction to the stress.  Whether in good times or bad, most people say that stress interferes at least moderately with their lives. Chronic stress can affect your health, causing symptoms from headaches, high blood pressure, and chest pain to heart palpitations, skin rashes, loss of sleep among other symptoms.

You can learn how to reduce the impact of stress and manage your symptoms through the following measures. 

• Movement practice

• Often we hold stress in our physical body.  It can be helpful to move the body with intention imagining all the stress is falling away as you move your body. 

• Start a regular practice of a movement practice you enjoy

• examples: Yoga, exercise, sports, dance

• Breathe

• Breathwork exercises/practice- Breath brings us back into our body, making us more aware of the present moment, aiding in clearing the mind of worries and thoughts, furthermore relaxing the body and mind.

• Diaphragmatic breathing- Breathe into the abdomen, not just in the chest. When the hand is placed on the abdomen, with breath you should see it rise. 

• ex: Coherent breathing- 5 breaths/minute. in for count of 6, exhale for count of 6. 

• ex: Alternate nostril breathing-With your finger, occlude one nostril during inhale and occlude the opposite during exhale. 

• ex: Box breathing- In for 4 sec, hold 4 seconds, out 4 seconds, hold 4 seconds

• ex: To help with sleep- Inhale for count of 4, exhale count of 8

• For each example, set a goal of 10 consecutive uninterrupted breaths. Once that is easeful, increase to 15 to 20, etc

• Meditation/mindfulness

• Guided meditations from youtube- try short ones first, choose one that sounds nice to you. 

• ie: Honestguys

• ie: Paul santisi- affirmation based

• Movement-based meditations

• Osho active meditations

• Vipassana- 10 day silent meditation course in person

• https://www.dhamma.org/en/index

• locations all around the world. 

• FREE

• Meditation apps

• Smiling Mind (free) (good for young people_

• Stop breath and think (free)

• Breathe

• 10% happier

• the Mindfulness app

• Tapping-  (EFT) Emotionally Focused Therapy

• https://www.thetappingsolution.com/what-is-eft-tapping/

• Find a provider here: https://www.ncceft.com/

Balance self:

• Create and recite daily intentions/affirmations/mantras (who do you want to be? Who is your healthiest version of self?)

• Start with “I”

• Speak it out loud with intent 

• Consider looking at self in mirror when speaking them

• Examples:

• I am whole, perfect, strong, loving, harmonious and happy 

• I have the right to be here

• I am thankful

• I am forgiving

• I love myself and I love all others

• I am guided and lead by my higher self, inner wisdom and inner strength

• Mindfully eating

• Treat your body as your vehicle in this experience---put clean and pure fuel into your body

• Decrease consumption of foods that have chemicals, unknowns or animal products that have been tortured or drugged

• Know what you are putting into your body- cook from whole foods and be mindful to have a balanced amount of protein, healthy fats, vegetables, vitamins and nutrients.

• Appreciate the food before consuming.

• Thank your body

• Self care practices- self massage, bath soaks, oilination, stretching

• Smile practice-stare at self in mirror or on iphone camera for 20 min each day

• has been used to treat depression, anxiety, pain

• Connect through nature

• Grounding

• Observe plants/animals/insects

Balance your perspective

• Rebalance perspective of the world outside you

• We are over exposed to negative news

• Watch less news, less tv, less social media

• Read positive news stories:  https://www.goodnewsnetwork.org/

• Retrain mind to choose the perspective that aids in your growth and wellness

• Example:

• My parents gave me up as a baby and therefore I am not wanted. 

• My parents gave me up as a baby because they were going through their own issues and wanted to give me a better chance at a healthier childhood than they thought they could provide.  

• Gratitude practice

• Set a few minutes each day to focus on what you are grateful for.  Write them down, speak them outloud or share them with others. 

• Help someone else

• Helping others not only supports community but also causes a release in oxytocin which has been shown to boost your mood and counteracts the effects of cortisol (the dreaded stress hormone)

• Find an elder, friend, neighbor or stranger that you can help in small easeful ways...opening the door, picking up groceries, taking dog on a walk, etc.  

Work through old issues:

-if you hold onto old traumas and let it destroy your mind, body or spirit you lose and that trauma wins. 

-if you let go of these traumas, YOU WIN!

-forgiveness is for you not for those you are forgiving. Forgiveness allows you to release the trauma and leave it behind as you move forward

• Working with a therapist to get to root of trauma

• Fine one here: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists

• Try several and see who you identify most with

• Consider life coaches

• Tension and trauma release exercises

• https://traumaprevention.com/what-is-tre/

• Hypnotherapy

• HCH institute, Lafayette, Ca 94549

• therapistaid.com

• The Wisdom of Trauma- Gabor Mate 

• understand your traumas and your path to healing

• thewisdomoftrauma.com

• compassionateinquiry.com

Sincerely and lovingly,

Dr. Hannah Woebkenberg, MD

updated 1/1/2023

Informed Consent: In loving you, I am loving myself

Mandating invasive measures is the antithesis of informed consent.

Coercion is the antithesis of informed consent.

Acting onto another being without informed consent is assault, is rape, is battery, is negligence, is medical malpractice…is morally and ethically doomed.

I, as a medical professional, medical doctor, health advocate, and humane being take an oath to DO NO HARM and within that is the INTEGRAL aspect of informed consent.

Let it be heard:

I, as an ER Doctor of 13 years, do NOT agree with mandating COVID-19 vaccination.

Informed consent includes a risk/benefit/alternative discussion with the person to whom the intervention is being made.  Especially regarding invasive measures (medications, surgeries, vaccinations) it is an individualized process, not a scripted format.  No two humans are the same, thereby each consent conversation varies depending on many factors, including but not limited to: age, medical comorbidities,  lifestyle choices, overall wellness, location of living, risks of intervention, risks of not taking intervention, potential benefits of intervention, potential benefits of not taking the intervention, as well as any and all alternatives to the intervention.  

Again:

I, as an ER Doctor, working on the frontlines of this pandemic at 4 hospital ERs, do NOT agree with mandating COVID 19 vaccination and do NOT agree with the use of coercion, threats, and punishment as a way to manipulate free choice.

I support YOU in making your own risks/benefit/alternative evaluation and making the choice that is best for you.  I support you and honor your choice. I promise to continue taking excellent care of you in the ER regardless of what choice you make.   I support you making this choice, free from coercion, free from threats and free from fears. 

If you desire to talk more with me about your risks, benefits and alternatives around getting this vaccine, I am available to you.  Send me a private message requesting a telephone call and I will make that happen. 

In loving you I am loving myself.

In loving myself I am loving you.

Sincerely and lovingly,

Dr. Hannah Woebkenberg, MD

9/11/2021

A Light Bulb Moment

<<A Light Bulb Moment>>

Let us strive to be higher voltage, NOT higher vibration or higher frequency

Like a light bulb, higher voltage>>brighter light 

In recent years, I’ve been hearing a major uptick in the usage of the following terms, “higher vibration” “higher frequency,” as if we need to move out of low vibrational/frequency states and be at the highest vibration/frequency we can. Honestly, at first this languaging felt enticing to me and I found myself using it. I suspect it was the performer in me who has been conditioned to think that “higher” is better than “lower.”

The scientist in me has concerns over this languaging.  Our words hold power not only in communicating with one another but also in manifesting our realities. 

I understand that when broken down to my simplest format, I am energy. Energy travels in waves.  Frequency is how many cycles of waves occur per a defined time. See fig #1

Higher frequency means there are more cycles (of energy) per defined time, so the humps are closer together (shorter wavelength).  See Fig #2

In terms of light, if we were high frequency we would perhaps miss our whole visible spectrum! Or if we wanted to vibrate at only the highest frequency of the visible light we would turn purple, which doesn’t illuminate that far in darkness. To illuminate the greatest we shall strive to be white light which contains all colors/frequencies in the visible light spectrum! See Fig #3.

In terms of human brain waves, see Fig #4.  At high frequencies all the time, we can become anxious, stressed, ungrounded. In meditation and sleep we are vibrating at lower frequencies, providing the necessary balance.  

In terms of sound waves, see Fig #5, if we were only vibrating only at high frequency, my human friends may not hear me. 

So…

>> Let us be diligent in the practice of speaking consciously and intentionally so that we as a collective can manifest our greatest good.

>>Let us be reminded that we shall strive to have all vibrations and frequencies to create balance in ourselves and thus in our system. 

 >>Let us strive to be higher voltaged beings, so that our light may illuminate love, balancing the darkness.  

Pineapple process

I sat on a beautiful sunny Californian beach with two dear friends admiring this magical tiny pineapple…finding myself wanting to delay the cutting and imbibing.  Yet wasn’t that what this was about? Growing food to then eat it? 

I wanted to continue to cherish and appreciate the process, the time, the energy, the gratitude, the love, the anticipation, the MAGIC.  The pineapple fruit had become a sweet friend to me…so much time and commitment, resiliency and love.

I enjoyed the smell of this fruit for over 48 hours before cutting into it, imagining how sweet it would be.

I admired the external texture of this fruit, touching it to my face and hands feeling the spikes soften on the body while the barbs on the leaves intensified as it grew, protecting the sweet flesh within.

I appreciated the visual perfection of the complicated leaf and fruit systems and the morphing color as the pineapple grew in my West Oakland apartment for 6 months.

I recall the moment (8 months ago) I discovered the pineapple bloom on a routine watering day, surprised and honored to receive a flower bloom from the pineapple plant …having never seen this part of the growth process.  It was so special that I have burned the images into my brain, uniquely small perfect and pink.  It felt so special to receive.  I had planted this pineapple years before, knowing the potential of fruit making but not putting any expectations towards success. I do live in Oakland, CA, not a typical place for pineapple growth!

Prior to that, I had tended to and admired the pineapple plant’s love for my south facing windows for 33 months ...growing from a top of a pineapple I purchased from Safeway. I watched it expand and thrive.

I had decided why not?  I’ll try growing pineapple.  I have amazing south facing windows although the temperature within varies greatly due to the very thin windowpanes.  I cut the pineapple top off two pineapples. One from Safeway. One from Whole Foods.  I trimmed off the meat from the base and pulled some of the leaves off from the bottom to expose small root buds. I rooted them in water, changing the water every couple days, until the roots were plentiful and about 6 inches long.

5 months prior to initiating this pineapple process, I had attended Earthship academy in Taos, New Mexico. This is where the pineapple journey surely began.  I first saw tropical fruits growing and fruiting in nontropical zones. Using the greenhouses notable in Earthship design they were growing avocado, papaya, banana, pineapple, etc from a variety of planting systems.  One particular was the hanging bucket system.  This is the one I adopted for my pineapple growing efforts.   It goes like this: take a food grade bucket with a PVC Tubing cut to end one inch above the bottom of the bucket.  In the bucket, place 3 inches of ceramic beads to bottom, then 2 inches of straw, then super yummy soil to the rest.  Hang in a south-facing window for high sun lovers.  I top watered in addition to watering via the pvc tubing for the first month or so then just watered through the PVC tube.

And here I was on the beach… culminating the end of this 3 year process, tasting the fruits of my effort! I tried my best to savor and remember all aspects of the taste from the soft texture, the plethoric sweet juices rolling down my fingers and face, to the taste!  The taste tho!  I hadn’t tasted a pineapple like this.  It seemed to have layers of flavor evolving and dancing within my mouth!  Certainly the sweetest loved pineapple I’ve had the pleasure to enjoy…

….And in minutes, !POOF!

the pineapple was gone. 

Days, months, years to grow.

Minutes to eat.

And here was my lesson, not a new lesson but one that is good to be reminded of:

The journey is what feeds my soul.

Goals are perhaps there only to create journeys.

I have found that sometimes goals get me too fixated on the end that I may loose part of the process.  The goal of growing a pineapple in West Oakland was intriguing and challenging enough to make the process begin.  Then I released attachments and expectations that it would bear fruit. In turn, I was able to maximally appreciate the magic and curiosities within the process, be in the flow, and be accepting of any outcome.

Amidst this pandemic, racial riots and global unrest, this is a perfect and every so valuable reminder.  I am not putting a pause on my life. I am not waiting from “something” to be “over.” I am not waiting for this world to be “fixed.” I am living.  I am in the PROCESS.  I am in MY process, determined to stay in the flow…stay in love…stay in peace….stay in joy…stay in my body to experience what the journey of life brings.

#lifelessonsfromapineapple

For this pineapple process, I give gratitude to Mike Reynolds, the Earthship Academy, the growers, transporters, and grocers that brought the original pineapples to me. I thank the mother pineapple, the plant itself. I thank the amalgam of the elements, the sun, earth, water, air.  I thank myself.  I thank YOU.

Summary of Pineapple process:

Month #-5- Thought initiated at the Earthship Academy

Month #1- Pineapple top rooting

Month #2- Pineapple top planting into bucket system

Month # 27- Pineapple BLOOMS!

Month #33- Pineapple harvest!

YUM

Month #33 – repeat the cycle- pineapple plant rooting

Surviving the Chaotic Unknown

As an Emergency Room doctor practicing for over ten years, I’ve gotten accustomed to being in that space of the unknown…not knowing what situation will come into the ER next.  I think its human nature to be uncomfortable and sometimes fearful of the unknown. ER work has led me to seek stability and balance within self so that I may remain calm in the setting of chaos. I define this as RESILIENCE.  (No one wants their ER doctor freaking out!  I certainly think better and more clearly when I am firmly rooted and grounded within self.)   

Here’s how I survive the chaotic unknown:

1.     CLEAR the clutter of the Mind- leads to higher clarity of any given situation

a.     Writing in a journal or typing on a computer- I like this best for me as it really removes the thoughts in my head, allowing the space to clear.  The book or computer holds the information without transferring any of my concerns onward to others.

b.     Talking with others- this works for some however I’ve been finding in this situation sharing stories of fear or angst has just snowballed my own angst. 

c.      If talking works best for you, try talking to a plant or inanimate object.   I used to use my pet dog when I was growing up but I now understand that they too will feel the angst if I transfer it to them. You can even record yourself (though I wouldn’t listen to it until years from now:)

2.     GROUNDING myself- pulls me out of my mind and back into my body. The mind can sometimes feel so controlling that I can forget about the rest of my body

a.     Connection to nature is one of the greatest ways to ground. Feeling the earth below my feet. Observing a bug or small creature. Watching the clouds pass.  Appreciating all the spring blooms and buds. Climbing a tree. Running my hands through the dirt. Watching the birds dance. Tending to the needs of my indoor houseplants. 

b.     Meditation- comes in all forms:  silent, active (OSHO style), mindfully walking, dance and all the things above in connecting to nature can be meditation if they take your focus to that one flying insect you save from the pool of water in the empty pot outside.

c.      Movement practice- Yoga. Exercise.  DANCING! Even better when no one is watching. Or have a ‘Zoom” dance party with your favorite dance friends. 

d. Cooking a new recipe- infusing the food with love and intention-hearty stew, root vegetables and red/orange vegetables can be really conducive to grounding…and then mindfully enjoying spoon by spoon.

e.     Creating art- building furniture, etc. I love seeing what I can create from whatever is around, particularly what I had considered to be trash. 

f.      Sensual, sexual play- this is a for sure way to pull me into my joyous body state:)

3.     Finding the FLOW within the chaos-  It’s much easier to see how to flow down a river but when it’s a turbulent pool it can be harder to know which way to flow.   Flow for me is the state of ease that exists when I am able to observe myself and what is happening around without getting caught up in the emotional state.  Flow happens when the mind is balanced with the body. When I am grounded the flow is easier to feel because I have confidence that I can handle it…it’s the inner stability that creates an external resilience to events outside of myself.

The result when I stay committed to this practice:  I feel CALM despite what is happening around me and I can truly show COMPASSION to myself and others.

Transitions

It was a beautiful sunny afternoon, I was working around home as the sun rays bathed my space. I heard at “thud” and turned around to see a hummingbird fall to the floor in the corner front window space. It had flown into the window. I walked over to see the sweet birdy laying there on my wooden floor.  I see the breath in its body. Whew. Pause. 

I love these birds. I have a spectacular connective and deep relationship with hummingbirds. They are my most prominent spirit creature. Known for their colorful small bodies, skillful moves and long migrations, hummingbirds are great at remembering to enjoy the sweet nectar of life.

The hummingbird didn’t try to move, so I picked it up, feeling the heart beat and breath in the palm of my hand. I make eye contact with this creature, observing the pores of the eyelashes framing the eyelid as I eye gaze with this wild creature. I feel deeply connected.

I attempted to feed the bird some nectar, but it would not take any.  I sat down, assessing how my creature friend might be hurt…if there is any way that I could help.

I assessed:

*the wings, stretching them out side-to-side-- no apparent injury or pain

*the body and legs-- no apparent injury or pain

*the head, beak and face-- no apparent injury

*the neck (I typically assess the site of which I suspect the problem to arise last.)  I palpate, I pull gentle traction, subtly watching for the hummingbird to respond or react to evidentiate pain or not. –I feel no abnormalities and don’t see any outward evidence of pain. 

Not sure what else I had to offer.  I opened my hand outside offering it a chance to fly off, but it stayed calmly on my palm.

For 20 minutes I sat with this bird, eye gazing, petting, adoring, and loving, until it had what I suspected to be a seizure.  It transitioned in my hand from a breathing presence on this reality to now just an earthly bird body laying in stillness upon my hand. 

In my professional life I have seen many (1000+) human die in front of me but there was something different here. I was fully encompassingly holding this bird while it transitioned. This was my first time to be the only thing holding/touching the spirit as it passed.  I have often queried when the soul/energy/spirit leaves the body during transition. Now after this bird transitioned in my hands, I was questioning where did that energy go? If energy can neither be created nor destroyed, only transformed, where did the spirit of the hummingbird go as it died in my hands? Part of my logical mind would say the energy might transfer to the closest physical object (which would be me). So did I absorb the energy of that hummer?  Or was the energy released from the body used to propel the spirit into another dimension? Or perhaps into the collective energetic field? 

Thank you hummingbird friend. Thank you for being my friend. Thank you for trusting me with your transition.  Thank you for allowing me to support you and love you.

LOVE is the ANTIdote

One of my favorite parts of my job as an ER doctor is the vastly diverse range of humans I am honored to care for and interact with.  I see people of all gender identities and expressions, heights, ages, colors, races, ethnicities, social classes, sexual orientations, (dis)abilities, personalities, nationalities, criminal records, levels of intellect and education, and beliefs systems. I take care of both the victim and the perpetrator...sometimes in the same hour.   

It may be my job as a doctor but more importantly it’s my DESIRE as a fellow human to TREAT each person with dignity, acceptance, compassion, fairness and LOVE.  I love and treat all others like they are my mother, brother, lover, sibling, niece, nephew, grandparent, or simply myself.

LOVE is the ANTIDOTE...
To discrimination
To hate
To prejudice

What I’ve learned about love is that true unconditional LOVE is simply that of ACCEPTANCE.

Love is accepting others (and myself) for exactly who they are (I am) in that moment....regardless of their gender identities and expressions, heights, ages, color, races, ethnicities, social classes, sexual orientations, (dis)abilities, personalities, nationalities, criminal records, levels of intellect and education, and beliefs systems.

I accept YOU
I LOVE YOU

Love is the antidote

Let’s break the cycle.
Let’s be our best human selfs.
Let’s love.
Let’s accept.
Let’s LOVE! 

A Reflection From Within

It was 2014. I was in Monrovia, Liberia working as a doctor during the highly noted Ebola epidemic. I had been there for over 5 weeks and was feeling frustrated by my seemingly lack of ability to actually help those suffering from Ebola. I found myself rewriting protocols that the WHO and MSF has already mastered yet were not shared with the multitude of organizations flocking to help during the crisis. When needs of the community shifted, our organization was seemingly locked into a plan that had been agreed upon weeks before by the donors.

In the time I did work in the wards, I basically watched people die only able to offer acetaminophen, motrin and intravenous fluids in hopes to alleviate the pain and suffering related to this horrific viral disease. With over a 90% death rate, Ebola spared no age group. I watched infants suckle on their dead mother’s breast…only to then watch the infant die of starvation. The few that miraculously survived this disease were met with further challenges, like health complications and social ousting.

Amidst the human DYS-EASE, the organizational DYS-COORDINATION, and much DYS-COURAGEMENT, a week before I was set to leave, my organization offered I go home early as the center we were building would not yet be open.

I declined.

They asked, “well, what ELSE can you do in this last week?”

That night I drew up my first MURAL design, estimated my costs and got it approved by my organization the next morning. After hearing of my desire, a group of local men went beyond expectation and built me a bridge and platform on which to work. In the last 5 days of my time in Liberia, I completed a 7 x 35 foot mural with the help of two locals on the back retaining wall of what was to be our treatment ward, which later became a community resource center. In those days of painting for nearly 8 hours straight, I felt so much CONNECTION arise, more than in my entire time there. In a situation when NO human contact was acceptable, as before even knowing one was sick, the bodily fluids, including sweat were loaded with the virus and thereby high transmission risks. So many locals walked by and said ‘thank you.’ They would stand a few feet behind me and watch me paint for hours. They brought their family members whom were also artists to share their artwork with me.

A day after completion, I left, never to know the true impact yet feeling proud and inspired by my ability to think outside of why I was there (as a doctor) and explore other ways I could help… other ways I could give back to a community so severely suffering. In the end I was reminded that my gift of art can also be a powerful source of HEALING and CONNECTION.

My intention is to point out that we ALL have ways in which to CONTRIBUTE in times of disaster and suffering…sometimes it just requires STEPPING OUTSIDE of what we THINK is needed and feeling into what GIFTS we have to share. I believe that everything that has happened to me in my life has PREPARED me for this exact moment.

Sending you love, light, peace and wellness.🧡❤️🖤